Kevin and Abigail

My husband, Kevin, and I were married December 17th, 2010 – exactly one month after this, on January 17th,we found out that we had become victims of identity theft and that the person (a family member) who had put almost $40,000 of debt in our name. Needless to say, to a couple of newly-weds who “kind of” knew how to manage their own money this was a huge blow. Not only was there the legal damage and credit score issues to work through, but the emotional fallout was incredibly painful –and still is at times. Thankfully for us, Kevin and I were able to meet up with Amanda, a friend of mine, who is a certified financial coach -- though at the time we weren’t aware of that fact. The story goes that Amanda overheard me crying one day to a friend at church and asked what was wrong – once I explained to her the situation she informed me that she was a financial coach and that she, too, had also gone through a similar circumstance. She offered to meet up with Kevin and I that week so we could try to begin to process the situation and figure out how to deal with it all. At that time Kevin and I had personal debt of $7000 in school loans and $7800 of credit card debt. As soon as we got together with Amanda she gave us council on how to deal with the fraud situation (freezing our credit score, following up with a police report to secure that no new credit cards/charges could be added to our name, etc.) and then helped us begin to tackle our own finances. Helping us see beyond the fraud and helping us deal with our personal financial barriers was extremely encouraging as we tried to deal with everything – keeping in mind that we still had responsibilities and work that could be done in our own time and with our own hands outside of the family chaos and police reports was, oddly enough, extremely comforting. Amanda advised us to make a personal budget to see what kind of expenses we were actually working with as opposed to the vaguely estimated budget we’d created in our mind that we “kind of” stuck to when we made purchases. Kevin and I were both, at the time, extremely stressed and disheartened about this because we felt that we had no money and struggled to make payments at the end of each month. We purchased a financial worksheet tool offered at the Dave Ramsey website and I realized almost immediately that the reason we thought we had no money was because our math skills were atrocious. Thankfully, we were able to create a budget after punching in different combinations of numbers in our cash flow worksheet that, although tight, was actually manageable. It was with a budget with no more than $1.00 of breathing room that we began making baby steps towards paying off our very high-interest credit card. At the time we both felt like paying off the card would take forever – we were discouraged, though determined. After a few months we started to see that the dent we were making was actually substantial. Through various extra jobs I was offered and some ingenious deals consisting of car buying and selling that Kevin came up with we were able to pay off about half of the credit card within our first year of marriage – now THAT was extremely encouraging! All along the way we continued to meet up with Amanda and talk through big financial decisions we needed to make. I figured out how to re-work our budget to where we had more than just a dollar’s worth of room to breathe and we began to try and figure out if we could get rid of our credit card entirely within this past year, rather than in the 2 years our “debt snowball” was telling us it would take. After turning down an expensive (but awesome) vacation with friends, buying used cars and fixing them ourselves, and sticking (mostly!) to our budget, we were able to figure out how to make enough payments using our extra income (refunds from school financial aid, Kevin’s military allowance for his being in school, extra jobs, etc.) to make our final payment on the credit hard by the end July of this year! This means that in about a year and a half the credit card that once haunted us was completely paid off! This was a HUGELY gratifying experience! Our credit card interest was so high at one point that over half – I say over half of our payment was going towards interest, not debt! When we both calculated how much we’d spent on interest in year one it made making difficult sacrifices financially MUCH easier. We are now thrilled to say we are credit card debt free and well on our way to paying off the school debt! We are so grateful for the direction we received from Amanda and the payback that discipline, grace (for when sticking to the budget actually didn’t happen like we’d planned), and teamwork helped us accomplish. Managing our finances as a team and having a third party to go to for conflict resolution has been a huge asset to Kevin and I – we are so thankful to have one another to help when one of us wants to just go blow the budget and do something crazy! – We are also grateful that when we both feel this way, Amanda is there to keep us in check! We feel very strongly that living debt free is the best way to live – I cannot explain how free we both feel now that the weight of “owing” a bank is off of our shoulders. Being enslaved to another is not a way to live – we are one huge step closer to fulfilling our personal dreams of having a house and family one day – and we’re making these steps with faith, friends, and each other. If you’re at a place where you’re starting out with a large load of debt or are in the middle of what feels like an irreconcilable financial situation – take heart! Over the last year and a half much restoration has happened with Kevin and I’s family, we have paid off a credit card, and are stronger in our marriage for it all. Many tears were shed, angry words were definitely spoken, but with grace, discipline, patience, and outside help all of these things were ultimately used for the good of our family and we consider the pain completely worth it. It may not always be easy, but then again, what that is worthwhile ever is?